You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
