I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
