I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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