Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
