Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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