I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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