belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
