how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
