These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
