halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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