When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
