i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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