i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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