that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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