Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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