Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
