Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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