If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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