On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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