I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
