so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
