She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
