I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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