I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Michael Bay diarrhea
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
