Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
