Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
