Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
