is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
