You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
