i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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