Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i will never coherently bang her
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
