ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
