5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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