and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Drake has all the answers
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize