i think i have herpe
just one?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
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