smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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