Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
