So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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