I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
