I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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