my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
