i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
