note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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