Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
