Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
