whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
