I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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