you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
