i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
