My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
