haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
