I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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