North Korea, Best Korea!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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