TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im holly from the hills drunk
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
