super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
