The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize