Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
