I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my being single is dangerous.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
