This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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