I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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